


Unexpected

by Not_You



Category: Watchmen (Comic), Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Babies, Childbirth, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, One Shot, Pre-Roche, Rorschach Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 22:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10863096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: Written for a prompt for Nite Owl and Rorschach having to deliver a baby on patrol.





	Unexpected

Car wrecks aren't generally the Nite Owl-Rorschach Team's department, but when a little blue sedan gets slammed off the road and onto the sidewalk right in front of them, it becomes their department. Archis is down for repairs, so they're patrolling on foot, leaving them no way to catch up with the prick driving the other car. Rorschach snarls and scribbles down the plate number as Dan rushes over to open the victim's door. The driver is a young woman, with dark wavy hair and terrified eyes to match.

"Are you all right, ma'am?" Dan speaks in the most soothing version of Nite Owl's voice, even as another glance tells him she's massively pregnant and quite possibly not all right at all.

And of course, her answer is the worst possible one when they're nowhere near a hospital or even Archie's medical supplies. "I think I'm in labor!"

Rorschach has just come to join his partner, and recoils like the poor woman has thrown acid. "Outside our area of expertise."

She starts to cry at that, and Dan glares at Rorschach. "Well you can just leave her if you want, you dick!" 

It's not professional, it's not Nite Owl, but it's the truth. He opens the non-bashed in rear door, and sets about clearing fashion and parenting magazines off the seat. Dan may not have his medical kit, but he does have disinfectant spray because New York is a filthy place. He detaches his cloak, sprays it down and tucks it into the back seat, then drops the driver's seatback so she can crawl to the back. Thankfully, it's the kind of old car Hollis loves, and there's plenty of room for her to arrange herself.

"It's okay, ma'am," Dan says. "We'll help you. What's your name?"

"Maria," she says, gritting her teeth as another contraction grips her.

Dan nods, and strips off his gauntlets, peeling his sleeves well back and disinfecting his hands and forearms. "Okay, Maria. Is this your first baby?"

"Y-yeah." She grimaces in pain again, holding her belly. "I got some Lamaze classes, though."

"Great. Rorschach?"

"...Yes?" He's standing with his back to the car and resolutely looking away, but at least he's here.

"Get the flashlight out of my belt."

He does. "Now what?" 

"Shine it in here. Low, towards the seat." He obeys, still not looking but lighting things up quite well. "Thanks, buddy. Just hold it there." The light stays steady, and Dan is able to lower his head and use apologetic fingers to see about her cervix. He's not even sure how dilated it's supposed to be, but at least it is. His heart leaps to see a circle of dark hair. "Wow, you're doing good, Maria. Looks like about..." he squints. "Eight centimeters or so."

"S'posed to be ten," she pants, "but yeah, guess that's a good start." She gasps in pain as the circle pulls just a little wider. " _Polvo!_ Jesus, Maria y todos los _santos!_ "

"Shit, I wish I had a ruler, but it looks like it's coming right along. Just breathe, I'll help if you need to move." 

She nods, doing the Lamaze-approved puffing and blowing. It really does seem to help, even if it is interspersed with further Spanish cursing. Dan loses track of time, murmuring encouragement and rubbing Maria's belly since it seems to help. After a while she needs a hand to hold, and both of Dan's are occupied, so Rorschach grudgingly jury-rigs a way to keep the flashlight in place, and manages to haul open the other door with a rusty squeal, using his coat to keep as much warmth as possible in the car. He lets Maria grind the bones of his hands together, and mutters vague reassurances, clearly more terrified than their patient.

"All right, you're good to go!" Dan can hear the delirious joy in his voice, but can't do anything about it. "Push!"

And she does, exhausted and fierce and beautiful. It's all on her after that, Dan is just there to catch the baby. It's a little thing and its head is practically a cone, but it's nice and pink, has a good pulse and muscle tone, and hollers like anything. 

"It's a boy," Dan says, grinning like a fool as Maria unbuttons her blouse and unhooks her slingshot maternity bra. Rorschach has been watching her face, too engaged in helping her to be disgusted, but looks away so hard his neck cracks at the first hint of breasts. Dan sweeps the bottom of the cloak up and over her lap for warmth and privacy, and passes Maria her son, who latches on the second he can, wide awake and hungry.

"Oh, if only your papa could see you now!" She tells the baby how beautiful he is, how perfect, weaving back and forth between Spanish and English.

"Where is father?" Rorschach asks, voice rusty.

She kisses the baby's conical head. "He's the best man in his brother's wedding on the west coast. You're not supposed to fly in your third trimester, and this wasn't supposed to happen for two weeks. He's due back tomorrow." She gives him a look that invites him to make something of it, and he has the sense to shut his mouth.

"Now what?" Rorschach croaks. Maria is cooing to her baby in Spanish again, the two of them in their own world.

"Well," Dan says with a shrug, "I guess we wait for the placenta, and then go to a hospital to make sure everything's okay since I'm no midwife."

"I dunno, you did pretty good." Maria grins at him, radiant with endorphins, and Dan grins back.

"Placenta?" Rorschach asks, and Maria lets out a punchy little giggle.

"Oh, it's gonna gross you out," she says.

"Seriously, Rorschach?" Dan blinks at him.

"Not an anatomist," he growls.

"Well, it's where the baby joins the mom. It's like, a disposable organ, basically." And speak of the devil, it comes slithering out on a gloriously small gush of blood. "Man, I can't believe this is your first baby."

"Well, Abuelita had nine." Maria shrugs, and goes back to cooing at the baby as Dan stuffs the placenta into an evidence bag and sterilizes a throwing crescent, waiting for the cord to stop pulsing. 

Rorschach takes this arcana in in tiny glances, and seems frozen in fascinated horror. Still, he stays to guard Maria while Dan finds a phone booth, calling a cab because it's definitely cheaper than an ambulance. About fifteen minutes later their ride arrives, and they pile into the back with Maria in the middle, cloak keeping all the mess off the seat.

"I'll be damned," the cabbie says, "you guys have done something useful after all."

Dan rolls his eyes. "Just shut up and get us to Mother of Mercy." It's the closest, and has good staff and equipment. 

The cabbie grunts an affirmative, and gets them there in record time. Dan softens towards him when he seems perfectly willing to relinquish the fare, and tips him well out of the emergency stash before carrying Maria up to the lobby.

"Sure we're not too heavy?" she murmurs.

"Please, I'm a professional," Dan says, and smiles down at her.

"...What's your middle name, man? I know you won't tell me first, but I feel like I should name him after you or something."

He knows Rorschach will kick his ass for this, a silent shadow spotting them in case of banana peels or god knows what else, but what the hell. "It's Benaiah, don't feel obligated."

She giggles, exhausted, holding her baby and the evidence bag with the placenta in it. "What about you?"

He's really, really not expecting Rorschach to answer. Neither is Rorschach, apparently, but it happens anyway. "...Joseph."

"Joseph Benaiah, maybe. You're supposed to hide the weird ones in the middle."

They agree, and deposit her with a kind-looking nurse, who tosses the placenta in a proper biowaste bin and actually finds them a shower to blast off the worst of the blood. The cloak is probably a dead loss, but he doesn't want to leave it lying around for anyone to find. Rorschach really has nothing to wash off, and waits for him, staring at passersby and making them nervous.

"Ready to go, buddy?" Dan asks, emerging to stand beside his partner, cloak a wet wad under one arm.

"Yes." He's silent the whole walk out and down the block and into a nice private alley where Dan can wring out his cloak and put it back on with a grimace. "...Did well, Daniel."

"Huh? Oh. Thanks." He grins at him. "Told you that EMT course would come in handy."


End file.
